How to “eliminate” your enemies.

Is there someone in your workplace that you don’t like or trust?

Do they cause anxiety in you, or cause you to expend too much energy worrying what they are doing or saying? You cannot perform at your best if you are distracted by what you perceive of others.

If you are to function properly and allow your real self to shine through then you must “eliminate” your enemies.
Eliminate (Def): “To nullify someone as a factor or cause an activity to come to an end”

Abraham Lincoln once said:

 “I do not like that man, I must get to know him.”

First, you must understand where these feelings come from; Did somebody else tell you not to trust them? Did they say or do something that belittled you? Do they even know that they cause you to be anxious? Is it possible that they see the situation differently?

Understanding conveys clarity; Clarity begets action!

Next, you must let go the past and forgive if necessary. You cannot move forward without forgiveness. If you cannot forgive then it will eat you up inside; the other person may not even be aware, and may carry on as normal, which will make it even harder to swallow. You cannot wait for them to apologize first, you must For(e)-give; giving first without expectation of return. When you have let go of feelings generated by perceived (or actual) wrongdoings then it is time to meet the challenge head on.

If you truly moved on from past animosity during the previous step then you will harbour no ill will toward the other and it is time to get to know them better. It doesn’t have to be a semi-formal coffee chat, you may find that opportunities will arise spontaneously now that you have made a conscious choice to move forward. Create the opportunity for them to talk. Try to understand what motivates them, what they believe they need to succeed. Concentrate on your similarities not your differences -unless your differences compliment each other. Allow them to understand your motivations and needs also.

“Seek first to Understand; Then to be Understood”

Stephen Covey

You do not have to agree with everything that they say and there may be times where you wonder if it’s all worth it, but remember how you felt before this started and you will know that you are doing the right thing.

I am not suggesting you turn all of your enemies into life-long friends but creating a greater understanding of them will extinguish the anxiety you previously felt.
Of course if you really want to destroy your enemies then we return to another quote by Abraham Lincoln:

“Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?”

You may also come across that person who – for whatever reason- will not even try to quiet the discord and will continue to disrupt the workplace. For those people, you control their effect on you and you may choose another definition of eliminate:
“To reject as trivial or irrelevant; omit from consideration.”

Life is too short for negativity, be positive and you will attract positive people!